Neurodivergent Notes: Stories of Survival, Connection, and Care
Ways We Support Our Mental Health (Part One)
Last week, I shared 10 things that have helped me on my mental health journey, and I invited others to share too ~ whether that was through comments, Substack posts, in their own writing, or in the NDI community in the Nook.
I was a bit taken aback this week by how deeply I was affected reading these stories. People weren’t just tossing out “tips and tricks”; they shared honest stories ~ about what’s helped them stay here and to feel more okay. It was really moving to read through the collective knowledge, so much wisdom learned through some incredibly challenging life experiences.
It’s easy to focus on the challenges we face as a community, and those challenges are quite real. But reading these stories this week felt like an energy shift. It wasn’t about ignoring the hard stuff ~ it was about noticing the ways people are showing up. For themselves. For others. And recalling the moments when others have shown up for us.
I gathered the stories that were shared with me this week and looked for the common threads. And as I sat with them, I started tracking the themes I was noticing and found thirteen themes. (Yes, I know. Thirteen, not ten. My symmetry-loving brain isn’t exactly happy with this.)
This essay got long so I’m breaking it up into two posts. This week I’ll talk about six of the themes, and next week I’ll share the other seven. If you’d like to add to the conversation, you can share your voice here.
Before breaking down today’s 6, here’s a quick run-down of the 13 themes that emerged:
Neurodivergent Self-Understanding and Identity
Therapy and Support Systems
Community, and Connection, and Belonging
Nervous System Regulation / Embodied Practices
Daily Movement & Physical Health
Psychoeducation and Cognitive Frameworks
Meaning-Making, Values, and Spirituality
Emotional Processing and Parts Work
Creative Expression, Joy, & Artistic Practices
Playfulness & Humor
Nature & Sensory Connection
Routines, Structures, Sleep, & Energy Regulation
Motivation & Grounding Through Care & Commitment
1. Neurodivergent Self-Understanding and Identity
This one kept coming up ~ that moment when we start to recognize ourselves. When we see the patterns, name the parts, and realize, “Oh. It’s not that I’m broken. It’s just … this is how my brain works.”
So many stories shared the relief and the liberation that comes from discovering a neurodivergent identity. The shame starts to loosen its grip. People ease into authenticity. Self-blame begins to soften, replaced by a little more gentleness, a little more compassion. It’s not an overnight transformation that changes everything, but many did describe it as a turning point in how they relate to themselves.
I kept hearing people describe the shifts that come from finally understanding their minds ~ whether it’s a late-in-life autism or ADHD discovery, putting a name to alexithymia, or simply starting to recognize the patterns underneath it all. And with that understanding comes a bit more permission to stop fighting ourselves. To say, “I don’t have to explain or apologize for how I move through the world.”
For many, this was the turning point where they could finally meet themselves with curiosity instead of judgment.
Here are some examples and quotes from people about how discovering their neurodivergent identity has shaped their mental health journey:
Examples:
Identifying one’s neurotype and integrating a neurodivergent identity
Gaining a deeper understanding of how neurological makeup shapes self-relationship
Learning about alexithymia to better navigate emotions
Realizing that ADHD has fueled patterns of self-criticism
Unmasking and connecting more authentically
Beginning to unlearn internalized ableism through neurodivergence exploration
Accessing information (podcasts, articles) and using self-assessments to build self-understanding
Quotes:
“The diagnosis helped me stop blaming myself.”
“I was able to drop the mask I’d worn for so long and connect more authentically.”
“I used to think I was just lazy or disorganized, but understanding my ADHD helped me see it differently.”
“I hadn’t realized how colonized my mind was, but learning I was neurodivergent helped me begin unlearning ableism.”
“I have greater hope for myself just learning more about autism.”
This theme speaks to how discovering one’s neurological makeup can open up powerful shifts in self-relationship ~ reducing self-blame and increasing self-compassion, cultivating authenticity, helping name internal experiences, and deepening self-understanding.
2. Therapy and Support Systems
I know that reaching out for help is not my go to move. It's really hard to ask for help. Many of us carry resistance to it ~ whether because of past negative experiences, fear of judgment, or the sheer vulnerability of admitting, “I can’t do this alone.” But for many, therapy and non-traditional support systems met them in crisis moments and became a turning point that shifted the course of their lives.
Some spoke of finding a therapist who offered a steady, safe place to process emotions and patterns that felt too tangled to sort alone. Others shared how starting medication ~ whether ADHD meds, antidepressants, or mood stabilizers ~ brought a sense of balance they hadn’t known was possible.
People also found connection and steadiness in peer-led spaces ~ whether through neurodivergent communities, recovery spaces, or support groups. Several people specifically mentioned the power of recovery, peer-led support programs.
It was often intensive treatment, peer-led networks, medication, or breakthrough therapy moments that people identified as critical turning points in their mental health journeys.
Honestly, it felt refreshing to hear about the positive experiences neurodivergent people were having with therapy (I know the opposite also happens), and many of us wade through a blend of negative, neutral, and positive experiences.
Here are a few ways people described support systems as making a difference:
Examples:
Regular sessions with a trusted therapist providing a steady container for processing emotions and patterns
EMDR or somatic therapies offering deeper access to stored trauma and supporting nervous system regulation
Psychoeducation opening doors to understanding how the nervous system works and how to work with it
Starting or adjusting medication (like ADHD medications, antidepressants, or mood stabilizers)
Being part of peer-led support groups like Smart Recovery or neurodivergent spaces
Intensive supports like residential treatment, ECT, or group therapy creating immersive environments for healing
Exploring long-term patterns through psychoanalytic therapy, narrative therapy, or parts work
ADHD coaching
This theme highlights how a wide range of therapeutic and supportive systems ~ from traditional therapy and medication to peer-led recovery programs and trauma-based treatments ~ provided critical turning points for many people’s mental health journeys.
3. Community, Connection, and Belonging
Over and over, people shared that it wasn’t just the practices or tools that helped ~ it was other humans. It was knowing that someone else out there understood and got it.
It was partners and friends who showed up, willing to learn and unlearn alongside them. It was the connections that helped crowdsource ways to make sensory experiences a bit more manageable. It was about finding shared purpose and meaning beyond just themselves.
And it became clear that community and connection don’t just stand alone ~ they fuel so many other parts of the journey: integrating identity, understanding neurodivergence, connecting through humor and play, and finding new ways to connect with the body and senses.
Here are a few ways people described community as supportive:
Examples:
Finding ND community and forming meaningful friendships through story-swapping and shared experiences
Participating in support groups (BT, Smart Recovery), Zoom meetings, and online spaces that support connection
Experiencing empathy and understanding through community interactions and mutual care
Leaning into support from a spouse, close friends, or chosen family who actively learn and show up
Quotes:
“The friendships I’ve made in community have been life-changing.”
“This ND community has given me connection, empathy, dignity, and helped me unlearn ableism. I now talk to myself much more respectfully.”
“Space to process stuff in community with like-minded others has been incredibly healing.”
“Story swapping and aid appreciation within the community have introduced me to so many supportive tools and practices.”
This theme speaks to how connection and community create pathways for relationship, ease the weight of shame through shared humanity, and offer collective knowledge and wisdom around practical supports. It also nurtures a deeper integration of identity and a sense of empowerment.
4. Nervous System Regulation & Embodied Practices
While community helps us feel seen and connected, many people also shared the importance of turning inward ~ finding ways to steady themselves and regulate their nervous systems when the world feels too much.
They spoke about how certain embodied practices helped them feel more grounded, more present, and better able to ride the waves of overwhelm. It wasn’t always big or complicated ~ sometimes it was a weighted blanket, a splash of cold water on the face, earplugs in a crowded room. A slow walk when everything felt too much. A playlist that helped calm their breath.
These practices didn’t make the hard things disappear, but they created pockets of present moment safety and steadiness in a world that can be too loud, too bright, too overwhelming. They helped ease the split-second between trigger and reaction. They offered ways to come back to the body, to soften the edges of distress, to find a brief moment of groundedness.
Here are some of the ways people described these practices:
Examples:
Using sensory supports like weighted blankets, Irlen lenses, compression socks, earplugs, and noise-canceling AirPods to reduce overload
Incorporating proprioceptive input through activities like walking, stretching, mountain biking, and dance
Engaging in body-based practices like self-massage, stretching, and craniosacral therapy
Practicing DBT distress tolerance skills, such as plunging the face into cold water or paced breathing, to regulate intense emotions
Exploring somatic experiencing by staying present with body sensations, without attaching a narrative
Keeping a TENS unit handy for managing sensory dysregulation or motion sickness
Using vagal nerve stimulators like the sensate to activate the parasympathetic nervous system1
Incorporating sensory-friendly practices like using scent-based grounding tools or soft textures
Allowing oneself permission to opt out of uncomfortable clothing or makeup
Quotes:
“Nervous system regulation skills (TIPP, Somatic Experiencing) have been life-changing.”
“Dance, repetitive movement, sensory aids — they help me feel back in my body.”
“Walking and stretching each day has become my medicine.”
“Craniosacral therapy helped me release emotions my body was holding onto when words weren’t enough.”
This theme speaks to how sensory and embodied practices can create pathways for supporting emotional regulation, finding steadiness, and reclaiming a sense of agency in one’s body.
5. Daily Movement & Physical Health
This wasn’t about hitting fitness goals or sticking to a strict routine. It was about how movement can ground us, bring us back to ourselves, and support our mood and minds. Several people noted how regular movement helped both with mood and with focus and restlessness (and research consistently backs this up).
For some, it was taking a walk each day, even when it felt hard. For others, it was stretching on the floor when their bodies felt tight and their emotions felt stuck in their shoulders. Some found joy in running, biking, dancing, or just standing up from their desks to shake things out.
Here are some of the ways people brought movement into their days to support their mental health:
Examples:
Committing to an hour of walking each day as a movement practice to support energy and emotional regulation
Using distance running and setting goals (like races) to create structure and focus
Incorporating mountain biking for a mix of proprioceptive feedback and sensory richness
Building regular physical habits like stretching or self-massage to release tension and ground the body
Laying on the floor and moving the body gently when emotions felt bottled up
Quotes:
“Walking an hour every day keeps my brain and body balanced.”
“Distance running helps organize my brain and gives me long-term goals to work toward.”
“Stretching each day keeps my emotions from bottling up in my shoulders.”
“My body needs movement every day to stay regulated and nourished.”
This theme highlights how adding regular movement to our lives can give us a steady foundation ~ helping us feel more balanced, supporting ADHD related challenges, and bringing a bit more ease to our mental health.
6. Psychoeducation and Cognitive Frameworks
Many Autistic people simply need to understand why ~ and this certainly showed up here. Many people talked about how important it was to learn about the nervous system, trauma responses, or mental health patterns. For many, this kind of learning marked a critical moment of change ~ a lightbulb moment when things started to make sense and other pieces clicked into place. Psychoeducation helped explain the confusing, seemingly random experiences their bodies were throwing at them.
For many, learning became a way to feel a little more in control again. To piece together a map of “oh, that’s what this is” and “here’s something I can try.” It wasn’t just about gathering information ~ it was about reclaiming a sense of agency and beginning to trust their own ability to navigate their minds, bodies and mental health.
Here are some of the ways people described how learning and understanding helped them:
Examples:
Learning about the biology of trauma and how it shapes responses
Studying the nervous system and its impact on PTSD symptoms
Exploring how depression cycles work and learning strategies to interrupt them
Integrating cognitive frameworks into daily life to support mental health and stability
This theme shows how learning can give us a stronger footing ~ helping us rebuild trust in ourselves and offering anchoring concepts to keep going.
Six Themes from Our Stories
These first six themes show the ways neurodivergent people navigate mental health: by finding moments and practices that ground us, connect us, and help us feel more in control of our lives.
They reflect how we come to understand ourselves, access both formal and informal supports ~ whether through traditional treatment or the communities we build. They show the importance of learning about neurodivergence, mental health, and the nervous system. And they remind us how embodied practices and movement can help us feel a little steadier in the midst of it all.
Next week, I’ll share the remaining seven themes that emerged from these stories ~ including meaning-making, values, emotional processing, creativity, humor, nature, and the rhythms that help us regulate. If you’d like to add your voice to the conversation, you can tell us what supports you here on this form.
Thank you to everyone who shared so openly and generously, offering wisdom hard-earned through life’s aches and pains.
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